She doesn't take it lying down

So March happened.

I believe I spent half of it perched on the couch with a hot mug of tea and entirely too much television, but at any rate. It's April now; spring has officially and unofficially arrived. I'm back to drinking chilled wines, dreaming about long and lazy patio days and contemplating my next big haircut. I think it's clear by now that I have my priorities straight.

In all earnest, I've been thinking about other things, too, like getting back to writing and organizing my apartment properly, about efficiency and productivity. The thing is, I always seem to have so much time when I'm not preoccupied with trying to fill it. I get around to doing the dishes. I read my library books. I make my lunch in the evening and pick out my clothes. When I'm busy trying to do things -- really do things -- I end up doing next to nothing, squandering my time. As Henry Brooks Adams once said, "Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit." I don't know about you, but there seems to be this constant push and pull in my life between my tendency to micromanage and my desire for spontaneity and freedom. Do we just "let it be" as Lenon insisted or do we worry ourselves into circles hoping we can muster up control?

Or, in the end, maybe we sit around drinking that lovely chilled wine and make fish tacos on a Monday night after a long day at work. Maybe we wish we were surrounded by good people, but feel as though we are. The emails, they wait. The plans wait. There are people you can't wait to talk to. And then there is this: the quiet stillness and silence of waiting, of postponing, and there is the loudness of life as you take a bite of your dinner and smile, and wonder to yourself: where has life gone?

Grilled Salmon Tacos with Apple-Cucumber Salsa
Adapted from Food & Wine and We Are Not Martha
Yields about 4-5 tacos

These tacos are really lovely. To save time the night of and for best flavour, prepare the salsa ahead of time (ie. the night before.)

4-5 corn tortillas

2 tbsp mayonnaise
Lime juice

1/2 lb Atlantic salmon
1 tbsp chili powder
1 chipotle pepper in adobo, minced
Zest of 1 lime
Sea salt
Grapeseed oil

1/2 English cucumber
1/2 red bell pepper
1/4 cup red onion
Generous handful fresh cilantro
1 tsp sugar
1.5 tbsp white wine vinegar
1 fresh jalapeno
Sea salt

Avocado

Combine chili powder, chipotle pepper, a generous pinch of sea salt, and lime zest and smother salmon. Let stand for about 20 minutes to allow the flavours to mingle.

In the meantime, prepare the salsa. Using a spoon, carve our the seeds from the cucumber and finely dice. Slice, trim and wash the bell pepper, and finely dice. Finely dice the red onion, and chop up the cilantro. Mix to combine using a wooden spoon. In a separate bowl, combine vinegar with sugar and a generous pinch of salt, and whisk together. Pour over your diced vegetables and toss thoroughly to ensure even coating. Set aside.

Add mayonnaise to a small bowl. Thin to desired consistency using lime juice.

Before cooking the salmon, heat corn tortillas in a dry skillet or by baking at about 300F for 5-7 minutes, and keep warm using paper towels or aluminum foil.

To cook salmon, drizzle grapeseed oil over a grill pan and bring to high heat. Add salmon and cook until almost flaky, about 3 minutes per side (this will depend on thickness of salmon.) Once cooked through, flake using a fork.

To serve, mash avocado on a corn tortilla and top with salmon. Add salsa and line with lime-mayonnaise drizzle.